Medical+questions

***Q. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
 * Diet and Exercise Q & A's **

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart should not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

 *** Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). A pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

 *** Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

 A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

 *** Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

 *** Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My theory is: No Pain...Good

 *** <span style="color: red; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A: You have not been reading and retaining this!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> *** <span style="color: red; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> *** <span style="color: red; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Q: Is chocolate bad for you?

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A: Are they crazy? Take note ... Cocoa beans ... are another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> ** <span style="color: red; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> *** <span style="color: red; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember that ...

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand -- strawberries in the other -- body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming ...

<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> WOWEE ... WHAT A RIDE!!!!!!!