Jokes

Audio problems

Two elderly ladies were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning when Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she said “ Mabel did you know you have a suppository in your left ear ? “ Mabel answered “ Have I a suppository you say “ She pulled it out and looked at it. Then said :- Thank you Ethel, I think I now know where my hearing aid is “

Memory Problems

Two elderly ladies who had been friends for many years who had shared confidences and experiences of all kinds, continued to meet a couple of times a week to play cards. On one occasion one looked at the other and said “ Now don’t get cross with me… I know we have been friends for longer than I care to admit to, but I cannot for the life of me remember your name. Please tell me what it is “. Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes and finally said “ How soon do you need to know ? “.

The Senility Prayer

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked The good fortune to run into the ones I do And the eyesight to tell the difference.  