Disturbance+cause+one

Disturbance cause one

You know how it is... you go shopping on you're own and it's 'Wham bam, thank-you Ma'am... all done and dusted and down the pub for a pint.

You go shopping with the other half and it turns into a nightmare as she wanders around for hours with you in trail... bored out of your skull.

Well, if you're up for it, here are 14 things you can do while the other half takes her time...

1 - Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples shopping trolley's when they are other-wise occupied.

2 - Set all the alarm clocks to go off in the House-ware Department at five minute intervals.

3 - Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

4 - Walk up to an employee and inform him / her in an official tone: "Code three in the Houseware Department... and see what happens.

5 - Go to the Customer Service Desk and ask for a bag of M&M's to be put on credit.

6 - Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign onto a carpeted area.

7 - Set up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

8 - When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and shout: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9 - Look right into a security camera, use it as a mirror and then pick your nose.

10- While handling large knives in the Kitchen Department, ask the assistant if they know where the anti-depressants are located.

11- Move quickly and suspiciously around the store, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12- Hide in a clothing rack... and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!

13- When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the foetal position and scream, "OMG, NO!... It's those voices again!!!

And last, but not least...

14- Go into a Fitting Room, shut the door and wait awhile... then yell loudly: "I don't believe it! There's no toilet paper in here."